Spencer + Kelly's Pregnancy + Fatherhood Journey: A Photo Series by Mother Mag
This photo series, shot by Peter Darnley-Stuart for Mother Mag , has allowed Spencer and Kelly to openly shared their pregnancy and fertility journey with the world, inviting us all into their home and candidly sharing details of their lives. It is heartwarming to see diverse stories of pregnancy and parenthood represented in the media.
We first learned about Spencer + Kelly’s fatherhood journey via Mother Mag’s Instagram. We were going to simply share the link with our community on our Insta stories, but we wanted to really honour Mother Mag’s photo series of this sweet couple by giving them a spot on our corner of the internet.
MOTHER (mothermag.com) first launched in 2014, providing a much-needed online space for thought-provoking content tailor-made for the modern mother.
Click here to see the photo series in full, or scroll down to read an excerpt below.
WRITTEN BY ERIN FEHER
Pregnancy and birth is a complex experience for any and all who journey through it. At Mother, we are constantly trying to bring as many of these diverse experiences to light, with the hope that every parent will at some point realize they are not alone in either their joys or their struggles, and also to engender empathy and understanding for people whose stories veer from the traditional, societally enforced narratives. Spencer Dezart-Smith is a software engineer living in Sydney, Australia. He’s lucky enough to be married to the love of his life—they met-cute at a San Francisco bar while he was traveling, and got married less than a year later in a proper English garden in Melbourne. Five years ago, they decided they wanted to start a family.
Spencer, born in the tiny Australian town of Blackheath, identifies as a queer male, while his husband, Kelly Dezart-Smith, also queer identifying, is a native of New Jersey born to Haitian immigrants. Spencer is also transgender—he underwent hormone therapy and a double mastectomy more than ten years ago, and has presented as 100% male ever since. But when the talk turned to starting a family, there was a biological reality that couldn’t be ignored: Theoretically, Spencer and Kelly could make a baby on their own, as Spencer was still physiologically equipped to get pregnant. While it was something he wouldn’t have considered prior to his transition, having lived securely and confidently as a male for over a decade had changed his perspective. “Now that I felt so strong in my male identity and was being read as male exclusively, I was able to view my ability to carry a child as a super power that I was blessed to have,” says Spencer. “It was like the innately female ability to bear a child didn’t overpower the certainty I felt in my male identity. The two things could coexist without one cancelling out the other.”