You're Not Crazy, You're Intuitive
I've been dealing with depression pretty much my entire life. At least that's what society is calling it. I prefer calling it highly intuitive or gifted. You see, I've been keeping this low key secret because I knew that if I were to go seek western medical help they would place more labels on me, prescribing me with some sort of drug. I wouldn't be the person I am today or perhaps even be here at all.
Born intuitive, like all children, I was able to hear and feel the thoughts and pains of others. Not sure how to deal with it or express it, I become very quiet, observing and absorbing it all. Eventually becoming this unhealthy sponge, filled with so much anger, so much pain.
Reiki found me at the age of 22. It lead me to other tools, practitioners and teachers where I learnt and became more aware of these gifts and causes of these so called illness' we carry, except the depression and suicidal thoughts never seemed to stop.
I continued to ignore my voice, intuition and kept losing myself in the lives of others. I wasn’t able to open up to the spiritual community, and felt afraid my family wouldn't understand. Nor did I want to create any worry for them. So, I continued to hold space for everyone, except me. Eventually shattering a 7 year relationship, and all other illusions came down with it. Truth was, I wasn't ok. I was giving away my worth, dimming my light to please others, leaving me in pools of unconscious shit to process.
It's now been just over a year since I've fully and honestly been dedicated to my self healing practice. Everyday is a practice to come back to me — honouring the beauty of being an empathetic soul. I don't believe I was ever mental. I was afraid of losing old pieces of me. Afraid of becoming my true self.
It takes courage to face and let go of unhealthy patterns, relationships or even a community that isn't supporting your growth anymore. To fully reclaim you, perfect just as you are.
— Melanie Morales S.
image via pinterest